How to be alone makes you happy

From spending time on your own to making the most of being single, flying solos can be fulfilling. This is a philosophy defended in a new wave of books.

In Wim Wenders’ recent film Perfect Days, the main character, Tokyo’s toilet cleaner, spends much of his time alone. Watering plants, contemplating, listening to music, and reading. While more characters are featured as the film develops, for many viewers, those early moments are certainly perfect. It was described by the BBC’s own Nicholas Barber as “a meditation on the tranquility of beings stripped by its essentials,” but it really hits a chord. It’s no wonder. Thoughtful and positive outlook on loneliness has increasingly taken up space on screens, bookshelf and smartphones, from podcasts to viralticutoks. At first glance, there was never a good time to be alone.

Over the past few years, several titles have been released on the topic, and several more. Loneliness: the science and power of being alone, and Solo: Build your own amazing life Hitting shelves in 2024, Nicola Slawson’s single: Living a full life on your own terms was released in February. Then last month, a table of Emma Ganon’s highly anticipated novels was released. I named her in a question in a non-fiction book Traditional ideas for success And productivity, Ganon is now rethinking modern relationships with a love story focusing on young women who find joy in being alone rather than with their partner.

Packed with keen observations and helpful tips, the book’s new wave not only threatens loneliness, but also aims to assert its benefits and joy. Such a powerful publication stream may come as a surprise to anyone who has initially overcome the pandemic and has inevitably heard of it or tasted bitter. “The Trend of Loneliness”a term that became popular in 2023 by US surgeon General Vivek Murthy. “After the pandemic, there [was] It really focuses on loneliness for good reasons.” Robert KoplanProfessor of Psychology at Carleton University in Ottawa and author of The joy of loneliness: How to reconnect yourself in an overly connected world. But due to concerns about the effects of loneliness, he says that loneliness is “a bit of a bad reputation, throwing your baby in the bath water, so to speak.”

But now discourse is the course revision itself. According to Coplan, the distinction between loneliness and loneliness is important, and many writers reflect this feeling. “Loneness is a serious and harmful problem for some people, but it is a very different subjective state of loneliness. [actively] He was chosen for positive reasons,” the journalist says. Heather Hansen. In 2024, she co-authored the aforementioned loneliness: the science and power of being alone with Netta Weinstein and Thuy-vy T nguyen. Hansen saw the media telling us I’m very lonely For a while; however, in a counterargument to this story, she says, “people are recognising their lives and choosing solitude for a variety of reasons that benefit them.”

“There is a theory that since the pandemic, we have been able to clearly understand the difference between loneliness and chosen loneliness,” he says. Emma GanonWho is a big supporter? “Slow Living Room”. The extremes of the pandemic — working with all your loved ones or, in contrast, going for months without human contact — was preparing us, Ganon said, “to have a subtle conversation about the difference in time between quarantine and Joyful.”

Resides in these timely conversations are the careful reassessment of general interpersonal relationships, as well as the reassessment of the romantic relationships between Generation Z-ERS and millennials and the enthusiastic embrace of single life. Ganon’s new novel may be a fictional portrayal of a young woman reinvested in her relationship with herself, but it remains true to many readers who are working on what is considered an outdated social expectation of “settling down.” According to 2023 US Survey, Two of the five Gen Z-ers and millennials consider marriage to be an outdated tradition, and it is predicted that more than half of Z men and women will marry in the UK. According to To the National Statistics Bureau.

Over 1 million likes in April! With nearly 37,000 comments, Virus Tiktok introduced the perspectives of women who date women who live alone and men they like. Many women considered the analysis “Spot On” And it is enthusiastically related. Single-based Nicola Slawson: Live a full life in your own words with her popular substance A single supplementI’m not surprised. “The number of people living alone in the UK has steadily increased over the last decade or so,” Slawson noted, which encourages cultural changes to the acceptance of one person, focusing on “the rejection of freedom and independence, particularly domesticity.”

That being said, our cultural attraction to being alone is deeply rooted. Capturing the beauty of loneliness has been a focus for many artists over the centuries. Included by David Friedrich, a German romantic casper, Wanderer on the Sea of ​​Fog (1817). a New Yorker Review Of Hopper’s 2022 retrospective at the city’s Whitney Museum, “Everything about urban life he shows us is isolated and unusual.

Daniel Schreiber believes that correlations with people who live alone, partners, and those who are traditionally overestimated as loneliness are overestimated. “Society better understands that romantic love is not the only model for living and not what we want,” he adds. “There are many different ways of living and it’s not necessary to be in traditional romantic relationships.”

Solo: Building your own amazing life, self-titled “Bachelor’s Degree” and professor of marketing and psychology at the University of Colorado, Peter McGraw points out similar points to Justus. “There are many myths in a single life, and sometimes you don’t understand why marriage was invented, mostly as a business arrangement,” he says. “Frankly, the message of rom-com, love songs, Jane Austen’s novels” – partners need to be met – “not supported by data,” he says.

Even within the relationship, traditional routines can be ruined to ensure more alone time, as proposed in The joy of sleeping alone. Its author, Yoga and Meditation teacher Cynthia Zach, found that many women prefer to sleep alone in the same bed as their partner, and said, “I decided to write a book in Spanish to defend what we feel needs, more opportunities to limit fears and beliefs, more space to express freedom to choose more freedom.

It exists and does things and is becoming more and more widespread on its own. Some important factors that everyone agrees about are finding a healthy balance between solo time and communication with others, and having the ability to choose solitude rather than being forced to do so. “The biggest sign of success in time alone is that a person chooses the space because they believe there is something important and meaningful there,” says Hansen, and solitude is “a neutral chunk of carving clay.

Appropriately, according to McGraw, it is probably best not to mold the blobs that were told to “lay in bed, vaping Uber meals and order them.” Rather, he proposes channeling time on his own towards creative pursuits and entertainment. Walks, run, see people in cafes, go to the museum and “get as fast or slow as possible.” Or “Sit in the bath after hearing Vivaldi,” how about adding more specifically?

For single people, leaning on the potentially blissful loneliness – recommended rather than waiting for it to end, Slawson says. “I kept things off until I was ‘settled’ or until I found a partner, but instead of living the life you have and feeling like you’re in the waiting room, I need to narrow down as much joy as possible,” she says. And when social pressure accumulates? “Don’t default thinking or scripts,” suggests McGraw. “The good thing is that now there are alternative scripts.”

It’s wider and full of possibilities and possibilities just by time. “I think loneliness stimulates a great sense of creativity. The juice flows and encourages problem solving,” Ganon says. She suggests treating loneliness as an adventure, or journaling and enjoying your senses, the chance to reunite with yourself.

Zak said turning inwards can help you gain a better understanding of loneliness. She proposes paying attention to moments of solitude and turning these moments into repetitive rituals that help relaxation and reflection through practice. “Question yourself, what do you enjoy most about being alone? Give yourself the job of creating the gems of the moment you choose and cherishing this particular space more and more,” she says.

And most importantly, obviously? It’s about mixing things up. “We also say that humans need social interactions, but humans need loneliness,” says Coplan. “We find the right balance, the key to happiness and happiness. The balance that everyone works for them is different.”