The phrase “Be kind to those you meet on the way up, for you will meet them on the way down” has been variously attributed to Jimmy Durante, Wilson Mizner, and even Walter Winchell.
The person who said it had a perspective that we can all learn from. In my experience as a leader and executive coach, this is a topic that most people aren’t considering at the moment, but it’s still important. lens It is both practical and empathetic. It helps everyone structure their life journey and career.
Most of us have experienced some sort of promotion or event that effectively promoted us to a “higher” position within our company or organization. One day we reached a certain level, and the next day we became someone’s boss or reached a higher level than our former colleagues. It can be a little unsettling at times, and sometimes it’s a rite of passage, but sometimes, just once in a while, you succumb to the feeling that you deserved the promotion and others didn’t.
In my experience, I think most people have all of these emotions. The important thing for each of us is to put these thoughts into a realistic filter and strive to provide a foundation for continuing to learn, grow, and remain effective members of the leadership team.
How should you deal with such a situation?
I always ask my clients what they think about promotions when they happen. This is often a series of interesting questions and answers as we work together to help raise awareness about how to cope with new roles. My own approach might include questions such as:
“Congratulations! Speaking of your new job, what are you experiencing?”
“What has changed for you?”
“I’m interested in the challenges you feel you’re facing.”
“How are your relationships with people who were once your colleagues?”
“What are your intentions and what choices do you think you can make?”
The answers will vary and will inevitably lead to other answers. I want to help my clients not want to let go of their old responsibilities, but also their new role (which IThe Ghost of Marley’s LeadershipTrying to hold on to an old job while taking on a new one can send a number of signals to your subordinates, including a lack of trust and a breakdown in communication.
Additionally, many of our clients struggle to get promoted ahead of their peers or more experienced individuals within their organization. It is not uncommon for these customers to be referred to as “boy geniuses” or “shining pennies.” They can fight jealousy and criticism from others who may think they are unsuited or incapable of the new role. All of these can add pressure and difficult expectations when trying to perform in a new role.
Other clients may try to ignore messages from others and just get back to getting the job done and achieving more results in their new role. And while their accomplishments may last, their relationship sometimes doesn’t.
In any of these situations, as a coach, I may ask people to do the following to help them gain a “promotional ladder” perspective:
“So, you got a promotion, but you feel like people are labeling you or being jealous. What are the chances that you’ll be subservient to them again?”
“I can’t imagine that.”
“Please, think about it.”
“Well, it might be uncomfortable.”
“Why does this make you uncomfortable?”
“Many people think that I leave too much of a lasting impression when I complete a project or assignment, and that I don’t value others enough.”
“If you consider how others view your performance and relationships, what could you do differently?”
“Well, I think it’s wise to connect with others, get to know them, and try to celebrate others’ accomplishments, making it “we” instead of “me.”
“Is it effective to be kind to others as you climb the corporate ladder?”
“Yes, I might meet you on the way home!”
Often followed by a smile and a look of recognition.
The harsh reality for each of us is that we all experience a journey “down the ladder,” whether it’s a job change, demotion, or retirement. When you treat everyone with kindness, you know you’ve done your best to maintain and build relationships.
And after all, isn’t that what life is all about?
